As I continue to sit in this proverbial “mud” – introspection, growth and healing mud…I find myself starting to get a handle on my list of “wishes” for a future partner. Gotta start somewhere, right? Here’s what I have so far. It’s a work in progress!!!! I’ll be adding to this as I learn more about myself…

—> I have to LOVE dancing with this person. To any music. In any environment. Regardless of who is or isn’t watching. And when I say “love” dancing with this person….I mean….LOVE dancing with them. Not just tolerating it….or being okay with it. Dancing with my partner…and having it feel ooooey gooooey and sexy and vibey and fun and playful and connected is a must!

— > My partner has to genuinely want to hear everything I have to say, and want to know all the inner complexities of my brain and care deeply about how I feel in every and all situations no matter what (and I’ll provide that same genuine care back!) Never again will I allow a partner to tell me (whether through words or actions) that they don’t “care how I feel” or don’t “care what I have to say.” (ahem: like my ex-husband did to me)

—> Food…. my partner and I hopefully have the same preferences/styles/tastes when it comes to food. Turns out, I love sharing food! I love cooking food! And having a partner that eats very similarly to me is important to me.

—> Judgement and shame-free! My partner needs to leave any judgement or shamey-tendencies at the door or I won’t be showing up to participate in a relationship. I’m unwilling to be judged or shamed by my partner ever again.

—> I need to feel seen, appreciated and valued for my HEART and my SOUL first and foremost. Sure, physical appearance comments (“you look beautiful”) are welcomed but I need to know without a doubt that my partner thinks my insides are more beautiful than my outsides.

—> Passive aggressive, jealous, possessive or controlling behaviors will not work for me. Neither will conflict avoidant or a partner who isn’t interested in communicating!