I’ve been pretty quiet on here. Undergoing yet another phase of growth. The universe has been throwing so many lessons at me…. And now, without the distractions of life that I used to have, I’m actually starting to pay attention to the teachings and embrace the opportunities for growth.

I’m learning about myself. Getting to know who I am on my own. And you know what I’m discovering? I’m pretty fucking wonderful. I have so much to offer this world… so many talents and unique personality characteristics.

My capacity to LOVE other humans is something I’m starting to understand is actually unique to me. I love LOVE. I love to uplift and help and encourage others. With that love came another thing, that I’ve recently identified. I love of making disco balls from broken mirror pieces. Not physical broken mirror pieces; in my lifetime I’ve come to enjoy finding broken humans and taking joy in collecting their myriad broken bits and selflessly slaving away at arranging the pieces and gluing them together irregardless of if my fingers are getting bloody during the process. At the end I got to have the joyful experience of standing back and admiring the beautiful work of art I made. The broken human parts were now a twinkling ball of magical light reflections! This would bring me a huge sense of satisfaction and warm, loving feelings, knowing I helped another in such a profound way.

But guess what I’ve learned as of late? I DON’T WANT TO MAKE DISCO BALLS ANYMORE. Sure, I’m good at it. But I’m good at millions of things. Disco ball construction leaves me bloody. Every. Single. Time. And once the disco ball is done? It doesn’t thank me… it doesn’t sparkle for me…. It doesn’t offer to help me in any way.

I’m done spending my time helping broken souls. I’m done giving my love to those who cannot reciprocate. I’m done getting bloody hands for the sake of lovingly helping another.

It’s time I start taking care of ME.